In a Writing Mood.

I watch Peter Draws a lot and he talks about taking a line for a walk when drawing. So you just begin drawing and you have no idea where it's going. I guess the same can be said for writing. But, as in drawing, it's pretty unfulfilling to read when it doesn't come together in a cohesive whole. You want the sense that you're building towards something or have done something by the end of it instead of just walking around sniffing everything you come across.

I guess I'll share that I've been getting headaches lately. I don't normally ever get headaches. Usually it happens on my day off from work when I get a later start to my morning. So it could be from going too long without eating or going too long without coffee or stress from work. But I don't feel that stressed from work. It's come close to a baseline for me, being at work. I used to, when I first started, have a really strong reaction to driving down the road that leads to the school. Like almost cold sweats and heart beating really fast and a sense of dread and foreboding. But I don't like sharing that. A part of me knew that wasn't a valid reaction to what I was about to do so writing it down feels like it legitimizes somehow. Or that I need to contradict myself to tell you it wasn't true. And then how are you going to believe a person who contradicts himself? Ah, my facade has been shattered. And now the central paradox of Me is exposed and squirming, my shell cracked wide open.

boogidy boogidy boogida boo