here's a bad joke

This guy goes to a bike store and he's looking around the floor of the store, just kinda wandering around aimlessly with a focused look on his face, brow furrowed. A woman working behind the counter notices him and after a while she says, "can I help you with anything?"

The man looks up and says, "All these bikes are already put together. I want to build my own bike. Do you have any spare parts?"

The woman says, "Yes, sir. As a matter of fact, if you'll follow me to the back, I think we have just what you need."

The woman goes to the back of the store and opens a plain wooden door and the man follows her into this unfinished back room. Inside are a ton of bins full of random bike parts in various stages of disrepair.

The man walks over to one of the bins and fishes out a pedal. He holds it up and says to the woman, "Now, I've never built a bike before. Heck, I've never even ridden one. I barely know what I'm doing. Do you have anyone that could recommend the right set of pedals for me?"

The woman says, "No, we don't have a pedal person."

The man sets down the pedals and says, "Alright."

He picks up some handlebars and says, "Anyone work here that could tell me what to look for in handlebars?"

The woman says, "No, we don't have a handlebars person."

The man sets down the handlebars and picks up a seat from another bin. "Could anyone tell me how to pick out a proper seat?"

The woman says, "No, we don't have a seat person."

The man drops the seat back into the bin, getting a little frustrated. He walks over to another bin and pulls out some brakes. He looks at the woman and says, "How about brakes?"

The woman says, "No, we don't have a brakes person."

The man picks up a frame and says, "How about a frame?"

The woman says, "No, I'm sorry sir, we don't have a frame person."

The man drops the frame and brakes and fishes out a set of gears and chains. "What about gears and chains. Do you know anyone that could explain what these are and how to attach them and use them properly?"

The woman scratches her head and says, "No, I don't think we have a gears and chains person."

The man picks up a wheel and says, "Can anyone tell me what this is and how to put it on a bike?!"

The woman says, "Oh yeah! I can help you there. I'm the spokesperson!"

i got a check

from my car insurance for $123. I don't know why.

Anyway, I haven't felt as much like myself lately. Probably because of the new teaching job. It's been taking a lot of time and attention. Mostly attention. Not all that much time actually.

Running has been going really well. I'm not running as much as last year but I'm doing a lot more fast stuff and today I did some strides in a grass field that felt really good. And on the run back I was floating. It was really nice.

I'm still doing art. I'm not as committed to it as I was a year ago. I would purposefully sit down every day, sometimes twice a day and crank out a drawing. Now I'll go a few days and not do much of anything. Or I'll work on a big piece every once in a while. But I'm not making a defined thing every day. Normally I'd come out of summer camp and start doing that again. Maybe I'll get back into that. Time just kinda gets away from me.

I don't really have to worry about money for this year. That's good. Back in the Spring I thought I was just going to lose money this year, a little bit every month. Now with the teaching job I'll come out ahead. That's good. I have enough saved that I could just not work for a year if I wanted. I don't think I'd like that though. I really enjoy afterschool. Today we sat around and watched some of the videos I took from last year. It was a ton of fun. Like watching home movies. I remember watching and enjoying them last year but they were extra special now that it's a new year.

some childhood memories I thought about today:

that time the street got painted with stars. what a cool time that was. the entire street was covered in stars. and it stayed like that for a while. I was really young when it happened so it didn't register as all that strange or unique at the time. Now I'm like, "wow, I've never heard or seen anything like that since."

this other time in 5th grade we were talking about idioms and metaphors and figurative language and trying to think of examples and the kid across from me, Garrett, told the teacher that his grandmother would say to his mom, "you look all fagged out", meaning really tired. And the teacher was upset and told him that was inappropriate. I was thinking about it during my run and it got me how that kid clearly did not have the best home situation and he inadvertently shared a really personal moment with everyone. Like he gave this glimpse into his mom having a hard time and he wasn't trying to make a joke and seemed like he really wanted to contribute to the conversation based on something he'd heard, and he just got totally smacked down for it. like completely rejected. Kinda bums me out to think about. 

tomorrow's goals

I need to teach them how to do the progress sheets at the start of class.

then a drawing game to go over expectations. 

respect each other- constructive criticism, allowing others to concentrate, includes me and I will respect them

respect yourself- effort, having a plan, being appropriate, being prepared

respect the space- cleaning, maintaining the materials, keeping up with the portfolio

then picking out portfolios

going over the syllabus 

going over the drawing unit

decorating the portfolio

finishing progress sheet for the day.

the big goals are to set them up to start drawing next week and also reign in some of the craziness of the first day. they were really really excited i think.

yeah!

first day teaching thoughts

they were really high energy. I mean, they were good kids. smart kids. motivated. but oh my gosh they did not stop talking and fidgeting. I wasn't really expecting that. But that's okay. The key will be giving them stuff to do. They seem like a motivated group, they just can't sit still for too long.

I was pretty soft on them today. But now I know their names. It'll get better. I'll lock it down. I don't know. I'm still not super excited about teaching. And having a crazy long day. I like afterschool and being outside and stuff. If I can be my laziest and most dirtbaggiest for a moment.

I do need the money though. And also, I don't think I should let my feelings dictate anything about the job for a while. Feelings are weird and they change.

I had a good moment in the last class with this kid who was quiet the whole time. The rest of the class was kinda crazy and loud for the most part and this kid had his head down and he was doodling the whole time. Towards the end I got a chance to talk to him and he made these really cool lunar modules and rockets and stuff. I talked to him about it a little and he was like, "These are the best drawings I've made in a few years." And I was like "no way! That's so cool. In this class just now?" And then he told them that he draws in class because it helps him listen

i was like ME TOO! I'M EXACTLY THE SAME!

So that was a great moment. Shout out to that kid. He made my whole day.

challenging myself

One thing I really liked about the boarding school I worked at was that it really challenged me to grow as a person. That was a huge sense of achievement and accomplishment. And then being on leadership at camp was a similar sense of achievement but a lot more fun. Those things were also exhausting.

Doing afterschool again last year was kind of a step down. Although I got to focus on running and art again and that felt good. The summer camp I worked at this year was also a step down because I was a counselor and the programs weren't as structured. The thing about growth is it's hard and can be stressful and it's nice to just be confident in what you do and not have many surprises. But I also miss growth after a while.

So, anyway, the point of saying all that is to try to frame how I'm feeling about starting teaching this week. I'm nervous. I'm not excited about it. But that's also exactly how I felt before I started at the boarding school. It tells me that I'm going to be challenged and by the end of it I will feel a sense of accomplishment and growth. I'll be a teacher. Which is kinda the one role I haven't checked off my list.

I've been a coach, a camp counselor, a residential counselor, a before-and-after school counselor, a challenge course instructor. Other than teacher I've never been a nanny/babysitter or a tutor.

Around this time a year ago I thought I might go be a counselor at a wilderness therapy program.

This will be a year where I challenge myself. And make more money. That's usually the other upside to challenging myself. The downside is on Tuesdays and Thursdays I'll leave the house before 8AM and probably get home close to 7PM. And then try to find time to run. Oof.

Oh well. At the boarding school I used to work 14-15 hour days and then run at like midnight. I've done worse.

first day of afterschool today

I didn't have to go in to prepare for the art class today. It feels really good to have my lazy morning schedule again. Going in for the first day of afterschool in a few hours.

Last year I focused a lot more attention on planning activities and as the year went on I got better at improvising and working with what the kids were already doing. Also, they don't pay me to plan so I got tired of putting in all those extra hours at home. But yeah, my goal is to improvise. Now that there's a culture in place and some behavior expectations are set, it should be a really good year.

After work I need to stop by and pick up my truck. They finished the inspection so I'm guessing it went well. And I should really start getting materials ready for the art class.

-introduction presentation
-get to know you handout
-introduction activity handout
-daily planner/progress handout
-expectations presentation
-portfolio handout/first unit outline

a lot of that stuff should be short and easy to make.

i did it!

I did all the things I said I was gonna do! feeling accomplished. and also tired. 

I'm still trying to figure out how I want to structure the art class.

Like if the first unit is drawing then I'll ask that the portfolio have some combination of a comic, a zentangle, a drawing from a reference, an invented aircraft, an invented creature. They can pick 5 or whatever.

And then each week I'll sample one and give some criteria. That could work. And then if they get really into something,  I'm open to them taking more time or redoing something as long as they can show their process. 

yeah, that sounds good. 

check in

I went to the dentist this morning. Everything looks good. I need to go back Thursday morning and they're going to fix one of the fillings they did for free. I also need to schedule to get my truck inspected and call the renter's insurance people to set up my payment. I've been wanting to do that for a week but it's been hard to find a free moment between 9 and 5 lately on weekdays.

I went to the school where I'll be teaching art. I'm excited to have my own space and be able to make my own curriculum but also a little overwhelmed. Right now I need to focus on the first day and setting up the room. I can do that during the week and also on the weekend if I have to.

We had the open house at the elementary school tonight and I saw all my afterschool kids. It was great. I was really happy to see them. My memory might be rose-tinted but I think the culture is where I want it to be and I really want to focus on having fun and engaging with the kids. They really like the spontaneous stuff and I'm going to do my best to document and display it for them.

Tomorrow I'm going to get up and run. Eat. Go to the school to talk more about the art class and start setting up the space and organizing. Then I'm gonna go over to Meriwether and set up the space for the opening day. That shouldn't be too hard. We want to set up one corner as like a photo booth area and then I'll think of some other stuff to put up. I also need to find time to call the garage to get my inspection and the insurance people. That should be easy. If I'm really ambitious I'll mow the yard in the evening. That would be something. Yeah.

Then Wednesday is the first day of afterschool!

8/13

-took kids to Paul's Creek. it rained. I tried to make a big rock stack. It fell over.

-found a really cool deer skull in the woods. named it Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies. it had crickets living in it.

-went to afterschool for the first planning day. thought I was safe to fart in the closet, didn't think I would be followed. shortly after my other coworkers showed up. oops. my fart was not safe.

-got locked out of my house. texted my roommates and mowed the yard while waiting.

-good workout in the evening. I ran around this neighborhood twice. it's 2.3 miles long per loop.

-had a yummy tex mex meal and grapes again also.

some highlights from the day

- I got a bunch of hoses and turned the camp gaga pit into a huge mudpit. that's pretty much what I did all day at camp. we were completely covered.

-I went for a run and there's this pipe bridge that I cross over to get to some trails and I found a guy sitting in the water, beer can in his hand, yelling/singing. so I did a different run

-I'm really tired, probably from the mudpit and I thought about treating myself with compassion. Like, recognizing how you feel and being nice to yourself. it's something I should do more often. Not that I don't take care of myself.

-I'm eating yummy grapes.

good day.

cool idea

today we took a long piece of bamboo and we laid it down across the width of the pool and everyone lined up and took turns trying to walk across it. it was endlessly entertaining. wipeouts, triumphs, defeats. super fun. I wish I had pictures but I'm writing it down to remember it and reuse.

also it's raining really hard right now.

i'm gonna be an art teacher

I should plan for that. Maybe here.

First Day: introduce myself. get to know the kids. I'm thinking I'll make some kind of powerpoint that has some art I've made and talks about past jobs I've had. or whatever. Then I'll come up with some kind of activity to have the kids talk a bit. Maybe find out an interest and their feelings about art.

Second Day: lay out expectations for the class and a general overview of what the year will look like. I was thinking that every six weeks they would get a portfolio grade to assess what they've worked on and they would also get a daily grade that reflects behavior and being on task. Art is just about doing it. You need to practice. The space and time is for practicing and doing art. If you do that, good job.

I was also thinking about offering a new activity every week. I will see 4 groups twice a week, each week for about 50 minutes. So it's really not a lot of time. But for the ones that can't focus on any one thing or don't really enjoy art, I'd offer some variety. At the same time, if somebody gets really into something or wants to do a larger project, I don't really have a problem with that. As long as they're using the time well. So maybe you'd knock out 5 projects for your portfolio or maybe you'd have one or two really detailed, in-depth projects. I don't know. I can see it not working out. But I'd rather have a few excellent projects than a bunch of ones that could just as easily be thrown away.

The second week I would want to show them how to do the abstract doodles that I like, that I got from Peter Draws. The way I do it is just a few easily repeatable lines and patterns. I feel like if you break it down into a few easy steps, it's really easy to do. Just fill a page with some patterns.

The third week would be drawing from a reference. It's a good skill to have.

The fourth week would be designing something. The theme at the school for the first six weeks is aviation so I was thinking the kids could design their own aircraft. Planes, helicopters, flying saucers, zeppelins. Whatever. You could make it by doodling or you could get a reference and modify it. Or you could just do your own thing.

The fifth week I planned to do posters. But I might change that to something that builds on the previous weeks a little better. This weekend I discovered Amik, the 1976 Montreal Olympics mascot. It's a beautifully simple design. So maybe we could look at that. Kind of minimal design and iconography. That could be fun.