Blog about Blog

a hoje-poje

(like hodge-podge but with a long 'o')

(the long 'o' is like 'home' as opposed to 'hot')

(the parentheticals provide clarification for the line above them)

(see line above)

Hello Blog,

lately the comics have been feeling kind of stale. I think it might have to do with the fact that I'll draw 5 or 7 in one go and then spread out their posting over a week. I have a feast-or-famine relationship with my free time now. It's an adjustment that is ongoing. But maybe there isn't much excitement about posting when the comics aren't fresh out the brain. I suppose it might not make as much of a difference to a reader unaware of the process. But, as we all know, this blog has never been about the reader. It's about me. The reader.

I like posting to feel significant. Like I'm making a deposit in something that makes me a better person--if that makes any sense. I don't think the comics that have been posted lately are bad. I think some of them are pretty good. But lately the blog has been feeling more like a void than ever. I mean, it's always been a pretty void-y blog. That's part of its charm. 

Now that I'm writing this, this post is also just a way of asking for attention. That's another thing this blog is really all about. Getting your attention. And hopefully using your attention in a way that is positive. You'll think Ah, what a decent use of my attention. Except it's never that thought out. It's more like a quick pump of dopamine to the reptilian hind brain (editor's note: that's probably not how dopamine works! go with it!) and then you start clicking wildly and, before you know it, 3 hours are gone.

Unrelated note: I haven't been able to sleep much lately. 

Here's the point: sometimes when I get really really tired and I'm in a rush, like I've worked a few long days and have to get up early again, instead of quickly getting through my morning routine I'll feel the uncontrollable urge to arrange tiny things just so in my room and bathroom instead of actually being productive. I'll start folding pants or lining up things on my desk or buttoning and unbuttoning my shirt. As this is happening, the conscious part of my brain will be watching my sleep-deprived self and think Hey, if we're doing this now, that means we won't be able to eat breakfast before going to work which we're going to be late for anyway. But, the Conscious Talky-Brain isn't really in the driver's seat by this point. It's more like he's shouting from the trunk of the car. Other times, while I'm fixated on small, meaningless tasks at the expense of urgent needs, I'll have small direct thoughts. Like if I'm thoroughly trying to pick out little grubbles and gribbles out of my toothbrush bristles I'll think: Hey, I should start writing on my blog again.

So that's what I'll do. Back to writing for now. Hope you've enjoyed this leisurely brain stroll we took together. I feel good for having written it and I want your attention. Yes. We'll explore other quirky side trails to the human condition and try to give some thoughts about things. 

Life is made up of the things. But life is also outside of things, or a force within things. It's kind of like light. It's a particle and a wave. I don't know if light (or life) is actually a particle AND a wave, a contradiction like that might just mean our words and ideas are missing something pretty significant. I don't think we can look at our words that we use to describe the universe and then think we're marveling at the universe itself. We're just marveling at the words we used to describe it. The universe is beyond our words. Being amazed at our words about the universe is like trying vanilla ice cream for the first time ever and thinking it's incredible. But you don't even know about all the other kinds of ice cream out there. Like chocolate ice cream. 

So, always remember that there are more ice creams.

And the only emperor is the emperor of ice cream.  

And I love you.

And ice cream.

And &.

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