Cool Bear

A bear.

And he's really cool.

He's not a rapper but he has the confidence of two to three average rappers.

And lives in or can freely enter into some kind of soundscape universe because one day in the forest he was struck by a magical faulty guitar that was stolen from the hardest rocking guitarist alive by a giant metal flying spider that had been assembled in a laboratory off the coast of Washington state by an evil steampunk entomologist bent on creating an army of unstoppable insects that would overrun the Washington capitol building in Olympia and make him the undisputed dictator of the evergreen state. 

The entomologist, whose name was Travis, had run in numerous failed campaigns for any and all forms of public office because he ran on the platform of diverting all tax revenue towards funding the implantation of mind control compu-chips in all mosquitoes that would allow him, Travis, with the push of a button, to direct a swarm of itchy bites at anyone with a valid Washington driver's license which, his campaign platform, was not well received by anyone except the ten percent of the population who appreciated the boldness of Travis's plan and voted for him in the hope of receiving immunity in the unlikely event he became a congressman or seized control as he was currently planning to do.

Fortunately for the citizens of Washington state and unfortunately for Travis, the magical music bear mentioned at the beginning of this tale had teamed up with the flying metal spider and converted its abdomen into an amp that the bear used to a tear a hole in reality and deliver a massive onslaught of tasty licks and killer riffs directly into Travis's brain just as he was planning to activate his roving mecha-insect drove but, with the licks impairing his evil judgment, Travis withheld his march of terror and appreciated the energy of liveliness and having a voice that yell and laugh and limbs that can move and swing and Travis renounced evil and set out to find the source of his major life adjustment and perhaps play drums in a groovin' jam band.