free soda

 we make moves

wearing cool jackets with sister erin

 

HELMET ON!

 

skrate prak

 

rollerball live reaction

 rollerball is a dystopian sci-fi sports movie from 1975. I found out I can watch it for free on something called a tubi and so I will be doing that now with updates every 10 or 15 minutes. 

on a personal note: I hurt my lower back real bad yesterday. I was challenged to bench press the bar 100 times in a row (allowed to rest at the top but not rack it). I completed the challenge with a fair bit of yelling and writhing and afterwards I said, "I'm primed for an overuse injury" and then I climbed more after saying I was done climbing and noticed my back locked up in a way that was familiar but also unique. Anyway it's slowly getting better and I don't think I injured myself too bad.

A little background on this movie: I remember my dad telling me about this movie in a kind of abstract way. Like I couldn't tell you much about he said but I know he told me about it. I also have a memory of confusing Rollerball with Blade Runner. This is also similar to a point in my life when I couldn't quite remember who was Billy Joel and who was Bob Dylan and one time I said to my mom, "But Billy Joel is still pretty good, right?" And she sort of scoffed and said, "Billy Joel wishes he could be compared to Bob Dylan." Which I remember thinking was a sick burn. I also learned shortly after that that at one point Billy Joel drank furniture polish (this was in 1970, 5 years before the release of Rollerball which does not star or feature Billy Joel in any way). And from that point on I was able to keep the two straight. 

The last thing I'll say is that I remember renting the Blade Runner DVD from my college library and watching it in my freshman dorm room and I was a little underwhelmed.

Anyway here we go:

First 10 minutes

The film opens with Bach's Toccata in D Minor which is an interesting choice because it reminds me haunted house music and looking on Wikipedia tells me that the use of this song in film dates back to the 30s where, even back then, it was already "a cliche to illustrate horror and villainy." Spooky. There's also an interesting insistence in the Wikipedia article for Toccata in D Minor that the music was used in the opening of Rollerball unironically. 

At exactly 4 minutes and 35 seconds the head coach of the World Champion Houston Rollerball team (which is set to play Madrid) gives a vigorous windmill smack on the butt to player #17 but there's no accompanying sound effect and the coach's words are clearly dubbed in making the whole interaction feel weirdly quiet and jarring. I would definitely remake the whole movie but with a bass-boosted smack sound. It's also worth noting that at this point we've been introduced to the main character, #6 Jonathan E., played by James Caan who would go on to play the grumpy dad in Elf. Jonathan E. is the captain and leading scorer for Houston. His general appearance is sweaty and determined.

This movie takes place in the distant futuristic year of 2018 and at just past the 5 minute mark the announcer in the rollerball stadium has everyone rise for the playing of the corporate anthem. It is a generic sounding organ tune and the camera pans to the players who don't really seem to care but then it cuts to one particularly old and vampiric dude in a suit standing in a VIP box packed full of old vampiric dudes in suits and this one guy is super into the anthem. The visual language of the movie is telling you that this guy is sick and twisted. This sequence overall is really good and makes up for the silent butt smack from earlier.

10 minutes in: Rollerball the sport is a game played by burly men wearing studded football helmets and pads on rollerskates. As they skate around the banked rink a large metal ball is fired from a cannon from the perimeter of the ring. The players try to pick up the ball and jam it into the score zone of the opposing team. There's also motorcycles for some reason. It's incredibly violent with injuries happening every few seconds and it's clear that playing dirty is beneficial and easy to get away with. Also there is a large man named Moonpie on the Houston team and at one point he rolls in from the outside and trucks a bunch of Spaniards to the delight of the crowd. We've yet to see #17 again but know that I've been checking.

At exactly 12 minutes and 5 seconds the now beleaguered head coach for Houston once again sounds weirdly quiet as he complains to the Madrid team for having their motorcycle man run over when of the non-motorcycle Houston guys. The term I'm looking for here is ADR which is when dialogue is re-recorded or added into a scene in post-production. I think. I think this is bad ADR. The coach's lines sound weird and it bothers me. His words clearly don't match his lips.

The character Moonpie appears again. He is a wild-eyed mustachio'd man with a distinctive scar on his left cheek and is played by John Beck. John Beck is still alive but the last film he appeared in was Crash Landing in 2005 which is about army dudes who try to stop a terrorist plot to hijack a plane and take a billionaire's daughter as a hostage. I have a feeling that Moonpie would be disgusted by this being the premise of a movie. Anyway it is clear that Moonpie is also a star player and that Jonathan E cares about him.

Correction: Moonpie would not be bothered by the military making it their priority to save a billionaire's daughter. He loves prestige and wealth and importance. But still, Crash Landing feels like a movie that could exist in the Rollerball universe.

Random aside: James Caan was around 35 years old in this movie AND he shares a birthday with my dad.

At the end of the match in which all 3 of Houston's points are scored by James Caan he says to John Beck, "I love this game, Moonpie. I love it."

We then cut to a shower scene where there are exactly 4 butts visible as Jonathan and Moonpie talk about their upcoming game against Tokyo. From this point on, there are no more exposed butts.

In a post game locker room scene we learn that the creepy guy from the corporate anthem scene earlier is named Mr. Bartholomew and he congratulates his winning team. Mr. Bartholomew is played by John Houseman who, decades prior, was very close to a young Orson Welles. They had a tumultuous working relationship but Houseman was hired to "babysit" the screenwriter of Citizen Kane. Houseman also won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in 1973 before going on to play the main villain of Rollerball.

Correction/Note: For some reason I thought this movie was a somewhat campy sci-fi action movie. It's not. It's a pretty serious drama that has a lot to say about the state of the world and says it pretty well.

Houseman gives a kind of creepy speech where he seemingly admits, in not so many words, that Rollerball is rigged and that Jonathan is the chosen star. He then gives either Altoids or drugs to Moonpie and tells him that the drugs/Altoids will make Moonpie believe he's an executive but that executives dream of being rollerballers. Houseman carries the scene well. He's off-putting but has a quiet warmth to him that's hard to place and you can tell that Jonathan and Moonpie are uncomfortable in ways they can't quite describe.

Jonathan and Moonpie leave the stadium mobbed by fans who are chanting their names. They are wearing sick white leisure suits with no shirt underneath. The creepy theme from the beginning plays again to contrast the adulation from the crowd and the camera rises up from the fans and zooms in on an ominous tower with a blood red circle on top of it. This is the skyscraper where John Houseman will have a meeting with James Caan the following day.

The interior and exterior shots of the Energy Corporation building are really good. The 70s version of 2018 is better than the actual 2018 and also better than the 2018 version of the future. James Caan is still wearing his white leisure suit and it is still sick.

At the meeting, Mr. Bartholomew tells Jonathan that the executives have decided that he should retire from the sport. Then there's some exposition about how in this future the corporations have taken over everything. There are no more nations. They've ended all conflict and need and created a society of abundance but in return the corporate overlords ask for zero questioning of their decisions. Jonathan returns home to his ranch and says that he will think about it.

I really appreciate how soft-spoken Jonathan is. His character loves the bloody brutal sport of Rollerball but he's not a violent guy in his regular life. He's almost painfully quiet.

By the 30 minute mark the stakes of the movie have been established. James Caan is a heroic figure who is now facing a forced downfall that he can't quite make sense of. He knows it's not fair but he also knows that he's powerless to stop it. All he's ever wanted to do is play the dang game. We've also been introduced to Caan's girlfriend Mackie, played by Pamela Hensley. Mackie is upset because she received a letter from the corporation telling her to get lost. I think this is related to Jonathan having to retire or maybe it's that Jonathan has a girlfriend at all and the corporation found out about it and doesn't like it. We also meet Jonathan's coach, Cletus, played by Moses Gunn. It seems like Cletus is in Jonathan's corner but when Jonathan tries to tell Cletus about how he's being forced to retire Cletus seems uneasy. Everything is beginning to crumble around James Caan...castles made of sand and all that...

It's not a mind-blowing scene by any stretch but there is a scene where Jonathan and Moonpie try to go to a "library" to get some books. We assume that Jonathan wants to learn about the history of corporations and the corporate wars that we've heard about. Jonathan learns that the books he wanted are "classified" and the only thing available to him are computer generated summaries. He's told the only place he can access "real" books are at computer centers in Washington and Geneva. 

This is such a tired point but it's a good scene and it seems worth saying again that we know on a deep level and we've clearly known for a long time that stuff like AI is bad. We know the cost of having things automatically summarized and reduced into a little bite-sized chunks. It's bad!

SPOILERS:

my note on spoilers. I don't care about spoilers. I don't think you should either. I think it's dumb. I don't think the purpose of a plot is to serve some sort of twist or secret. I think you can know everything about a story and if it's done well, it doesn't matter. The execution is what counts. So stop being upset by spoilers. The little "ah-ha!" you get is just a cheap trick anyway.

SPOILERS: At exactly 49 minutes and 46 seconds we learn from fancy people at a fancy party that all the rollerball players are androids. This is revealed in a very casual way by people speaking off screen, as the Houston rollerball players walk around the party. Are they androids? Or is this what people are told to make the brutality okay?

It occurs to me that another reason I might have confused Rollerball and Blade Runner beyond the fact that they both are compound words related to skating that have the letters R and B is that a major plot point of both movies is whether or not people is people or people is robots and are the people we think are people and they think they are people are they actually robots tho?

note: other than these lines in the film, the question of whether or not the Rollerball players are androids is never brought up again. one assumes based on later events that they are human. 

 All of the characters we've been introduced to in the film are at this party and there's a scene where John Houseman walks in and greets people and I don't know why but it's just cool. He's just a good villain.

Who's the Crocodile? (note: we never learn who the crocodile is. this name never appears again)

John Beck has a chin that could split an OAK!

This is a very minor point but at the party everyone gathers around the screen to watch a highlight reel of Jonathan's career and they make a big point of showing lots of big hits with, I kid you not, BASS BOOSTED SOUND EFFECTS OF THE HITS! They're really over the top. AND! I think this is connected, stay with me now. I think the movie knew how affected we all were by that muted butt slap and the silent coach--as the dramatic obvious sound effects are playing we get a muted shot of the very same coach reacting to the hits and carnage on the screen. I said this is a minor point but it is actually a very big deal to me.

This is how you should watch a movie. It should take you three hours to watch one hour of a two hour movie. I'm doing it right. If you aren't doing this then I think you're doing it wrong.

After the party there's two scenes that are interwoven. The first scene is Jonathan and Mr. Bartholomew discuss Jonathan retiring from the game. Prior to this conversation we learn from Cletus that there are people above Mr. Bartholomew called the Executive Directorate and no one knows who they are but they have finally say and they want Jonathan out because they're scared of him. But Jonathan doesn't even know why they're scared of him. Anyway, Jonathan tells Mr. B that he wants to see his wife again (I didn't mention this but earlier we learn that the corporate executives took away Jonathan's wife because an executive wanted to be with her.) At the same time this is happening we are cutting back to this group of party-goers which feature Mackie and they're all following this guy who is holding a shiny pistol. Mackie shoots the small gun at a pine tree and the whole tree erupts in a giant fireball. All of the strung-out party-goers squeal with delight and laughter. Mackie continues shooting trees.

What is the movie telling us?! Why contrast the two???

The scene ends with Jonathan insisting that he will play in the upcoming game and Mr. Bartholomew yelling, "You can be stopped!" We cut back to the group with the fire pistol and Mackie looks on with horror and distress at the six trees (Jonathan wears #6 on his uniform) that have been burnt to a crisp in seconds. The executive class wields a godlike destructive power that they use just for fun.

Jonathan Evans begins to gnaw at the bars of his enclosure!!!!!

"I think I'll go to one of them computer centers. See what I can find out. Yeah. Finding out things it's-- that's the the thing, Moonpie. "

Two things are on a collision course. Jonathan needs to know why he's being forced to leave and the Executive Directorate needs to destroy him for needing to know.

Around 70 minutes is the big match between Tokyo and Houston. During the playing of the corporate anthem (this time called a corporate hymn) there are charged glances made between the Tokyo and Houston players. Are the Tokyo players trying to communicate something to Houston? Are they sizing them up? Are they expressing that even though they are opponents, they have much more in common with each other than they do with anyone outside the arena?

Also, the Tokyo players do this awesome punching strut thing when they roll around the ring. It's really cool and fun.

The movie keeps repeating that there will be no penalties called and limited substitutions so you know this is about to be an absolute bloodbath. Will the violence finally get to Jonathan? How bad is it going to get?!

One assumes that it will get very very bad.

Update: It got very very bad.

But

Houston wins!

After the game we get a scene of John Houseman talking to the Executive Directorate (we finally see them!) on what looks like the 1975 version of a Zoom call and he says,

"The game was created to demonstrate the futility of individual effort. Let the game do its work."

The Zero computer scene deserves its own post but, in short, ain't no answers to be found about how corporations work :/

I don't have anything to say right now about the final match. It took me about 5 hours to watch this two hour movie. It's a good movie! You should watch it. It's free on Tubi.

Update: I struggled to keep my eyes open the last 10 minutes of the movie, not because it was bad or boring but because I was very sleepy. As it happens, having the feeling of really heavy eyes before giving in to the sweet embrace of slumber is my favorite way to fall asleep.

Final Thoughts: There's some connection to be made about the "liquid computer" Zero and concepts we have today like "the cloud." 

The very final shot of the movie pre-dates meme culture by about 30 or 40 years. Look it up yourself.

I've been thinking a lot about how the movie plays with the elements of violence, visibility, and control/autonomy. 

one thing I believe

 one time I was washing my hands and at the sink next to me this kid was washing a shiny bead necklace and I was like, "did you find that?"

And he was like, "yeah I'm the kind of guy who finds cool rocks and things and collects them."

And I thought that was so cool.

And another time last Sunday I was doing my little track workout and feeling a little moody and in the school next to the track there was a concert or something but this one boy was getting too antsy I guess because his parents took him outside to run around in his nice concert-going clothes. And as I'm walking to the start he runs down the long jump runway and jumps in the long jump pit and he looks at me and goes, "hey!"

And I go, "hey!"

And he goes, "hey!"

And I go, "you're gonna mess up you're nice clothes!"

And he goes, "I don't care."

And I laughed and went, "Right on. right on."

And I truly believe, in my very deep downs I truly believe if you collect those little moments and crystallize them in your memory and add them to yourself in some way that they will protect you and guide you through life. Times that are funny and joyous and pure. I really think that's essential to finding your way and ending up somewhere you want to be. 

blurry pick of things I've been working on

 the bird again because I like it.

I made a little tile out of bamboo that is a nonsense symbol on it. I'd like to make a bunch and have them for camp. I don't know what I'd do with them yet.

And then the thing on the left in the shadows is the beginnings of a little guy that I made out of a little scrap of wood I found outside my apartment by the trash cans. It had some strange goo on it that I removed. It'll be a little guy wearing a hat and I'd also like to make a bunch of those.

inscrutable phrases

the devil's own octopus couldn't three-door a four-door seated dans

and we'll leave that at that!

in other news,

skating is so fun. my new skates are breaking in and today I skated up and down the road by my apartment and it was the best. I could've kept going indefinitely. 

also also also

has anyone ever bothered to ask WHY SpongeBob and Patrick were such good friends? Or did we just take that granted. We all just pointed and laughed at how "dumb" and silly they acted at times and just like Squidward we totally missed the point. They knew themselves and they knew each other. last time I talked about the goats and the trolls and how we're the trolls. Be a sponge. Or at the very least be Patrick. 

Spongebob owned his own home. Had a job that he loved. Had a pet snail. Lived right next to his best friend. Had meaningful hobbies. And generally had a positive outlook on the world. Can you think of anyone else who has all 6?!

I guarantee no one listens to their dumb little instagram note song as much as me

just know whatever I'm posting I'm listening to that same little 30 second clip at least 5 to 10 times per hour

the funniest moment of the Richmond marathon

 about a mile or so from the finish line a woman was standing on the side of the road with a cup in her hand and when my sister ran by in the 8k the woman was yelling, "free beer!" with a little beer in the cup.

then later my sister and I walked past her again on our way to see our mom in the marathon and she had switched to vodka and said, "free vodka!" to the crowd of people running by and one woman stopped and laughed and the woman holding the cup and vodka turned around to a stroller directly behind her and said, "How ya doin', Ruthie?!" 

Ruthie was a toddler staring at a tablet and was seemingly doing fine.

richmond marathon!

 my mom ran! and my sister ran the 8k!

so thankful for them!

(last picture shown to explain why Erin looks so much taller in the previous picture)

this big town ain't too big for two ones of us

 this big ain't two for the town of us

this two ain't a big town

this town ain't two enough for the big of us

this town ain't enough for us

big town ain't two ain't enough ain't us

ain't us a big two town?

this big ain't big big for big big

ain't this a town? ain't this big? ain't this two? ain't this us?

us two in a big town? ain't!

big enough for a town. two enough for us.

two of us in a big town ain't enough

big two us ain't a town

ain't this big town enough of us

two ain't big! a whole town ain't big! 

this whole town ain't a big town! it's a two--it's a town--it's a twon

one big town ain't two big towns

big one big one big one town two towns over ain't a big one town enough

this bown ain't twig enough for the twuss

twown twown twown ain't buff for the twuf of fuss

bridge trolls

 you guys remember bridge trolls? of course you do.

The Bridge Troll famously appears in the Three Billy Goats Gruff. The little goat is trying to cross the bridge and the troll jumps out and says he's going to eat the goat. The goat tells him 'nah my older brother is coming and he's bigger and he'll be a better meal.' Troll says alright go ahead then. 

The way I remember it this continues about fifty or sixty more times and eventually this gargantuan hulking monster unit goat shows up and he's the oldest goat and he takes one look at the hungry hungry troll and bites his head off and doesn't even bother to say please and thank you.

It's an old Norwegian folktale and we tell this story to children and expect them to learn from it but I'm not sure what the message here is. 

I guess the message for a small kid is that you're weak and so your main tools are lying and relying on bigger stronger people in your life. 

You know what's really crazy though is that I think a lot of times we end up being the troll in the story. And you're trying to live your life and have a meal and survive and you keep getting told, 'no no no wait. you gotta wait. you gotta wait for the next thing. you can't live your life yet. You've gotta go to high school and college and more college and get a job and another job and have a family and buy a house and you've gotta do all this stuff before you start living your life.' You can live your life just enough to not lose your mind and still be productive but if you just start doing stuff then you're a dangerous degenerate or whatever. Right and then eventually you let enough goats go by and the big goat finally shows up and you're like, "man what have I even been DOING over here?" Why didn't you just eat that one goat that one time?!

You're not a goat. It's obvious when you think about it. Which of these two things is more human-like: an actual goat or a little creepy dude who lives under a bridge? The bridge troll has a job. He works for the county monitoring the bridge. You think bridges just exist? 

Here's my version:

Alright kids this is a story about a nice bridge troll that took care of the finest bridge in all of fairy tale land. But then one day a square-eyed ravenous spawn of sin goat came along. The little goat was terrorizing the countryside. Eating anything edible. Charging at small children and screaming at the top of its lungs. And the goat decided it was done running amok on one side of the river and wanted to see what it could ruin on the other side of the river. Just as the goat was about to cross the bridge the troll jumped out and said,

"Son you need to stop acting crazy! You can't use parts of society like bridges and have no regard for anyone else around you!"

And the goat said, "Oh no! Please don't eat me Mr. Bridge Troll! I'm scrawny and weak. Wait for my brother to come by. He's much bigger and will make a better meal."

And the Bridge Troll said, "You lying sack of something goat I didn't even say anything about wanting to eat you. Scrawny my foot I just watched you chow down on that whole azalea bush right over there. Get out of here!"

And the Bridge Troll heaved the baby goat over the bridge and into the river where it was carried far far away. 

And then later the older brother goat came along and said, "Have you seen my younger brother?"

And the Bridge Troll said, "Nah man I've haven't seen him. You're chill though you can cross and look for him over there. Good luck."

The End.

what's it take to go infinite?

I got a little fired up yesterday talking about listening.

After reflecting on it a bit I've decided that I'm TRIPLING DOWN ON EVERYTHING I SAID!

HIT EM' WHITMAN!

Ya-honk! he says, and sounds it down to me like an invitation;

The pert may suppose it meaningless, but I listen closer,

I find its purpose and place up there toward the November sky.

Walt Whitman listens so good he hears a duck go YA-HONK and finds his place among the universe and the sky!

DO YOU STILL DOUBT THE POWER???

Don't be a pert. Never suppose it meaningless.

I saw someone being pedantic online because someone used "your" when they meant to use "you're" and it made me mad because in speech those are obviously identical and no one ever confuses them in context so where does anyone even get off on pointing that out. And then that made me think about how we are so focused on using language "correctly" and a lot of the weight of communication, in English at least, is put on the speaker. I understand why that's important but I do think it's weird that we don't give nearly the same attention to listening or being able to derive meaning from what someone is communicating. We almost actively dislike it. The best example I can think of is literary analysis. People hate literary analysis. It's just listening! 

I was talking to a friend this week about how when I worked at a therapeutic boarding school, I was so amazed by the people who could take a vague expression of anger or annoyance and say back to the student what they thought they were trying to communicate. It's like the opposite of being a grammarian. Instead of correcting someone when you fully understand what they're saying anyway--it's fleshing out a fully formed thought out of barely anything, out of something the person can't articulate on their own. I just think that's so cool. Like if you ever see anyone do that in person, it's like magic. It automatically makes a situation better. Unlike telling someone they used the wrong verb tense or whatever. That doesn't do anything. Being a human auto-correct doesn't do anything.

I know 'LISTENING' isn't like an exciting call to action or hot topic or whatever but I need to convey--I need you to understand the TRANSCENDENT LEVELS OF LISTENING that are possible. Part of me believes that people can't hide anything. If you really listen to someone--they'll tell you everything about themselves. And I don't mean like asking the right questions or tricking people or whatever although question asking is important, I mean that anything you say or even just how you stand while completely neutral radiates so much information all the time and that people who take the time and have the skill can read that. 

You know what the most annoying group of people to be around is? Groups where no one is listening and everyone is just waiting their turn to say whatever they want to say. Or not even waiting their turn. Just making word noises into a little filth pile that falls to their feet and is trod upon all the live long day.

You know what the coolest group of people to be around is? A group where you'd be terrified to speak because everyone is so attuned to your ways and thoughts that anything you say will lay bare for all to see your inner squishy being--opening your mouth and feeling yourself explode into a ball of light because the barrier between yourself and others has shattered. That would be cool.

L I S T E N

one thing I love about coaching club

 they're just some kids who like climbing after school and having a fun time. today we made up a game where they jumped off the wall and I threw a beanbag in the air and they tried to catch it. we spent a great 20 minutes doing that.

I'm at the gym to try my best and have fun. Not bring in a bad attitude and pour it out all over the place.

there's a lot of things I can't control

but I can kinda control how this little peep looking bird looks. so that's cool

 

Litany by Rebecca Lindenburg

O you gods, you long-limbed animals, you

astride the sea and you unhammocked

in the cyprus grove and you with your hair

full of horses, please. My thoughts have turned

from the savor of plums to the merits

of pity—touch and interrupt me,

chasten me with waking, humble me

for wonder again. Seed god and husk god,

god of the open palm, you know me, you

know my mettle. See, my wrists are small.

O you, with glass-colored wind at your call

and you, whose voice is soft as a turned page,

whose voice unrolls paper, whose voice returns

air to its forms, send me a word for faith

that also means his thrum, his coax and surge

and her soft hollow, please—friend gods, lend me

a word that means what I would ask him for

so when he says: You give it all away,

I can say: I am not sorry. I sing.

--------------------------------------------------

Some lines that make me go AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

"o you gods, you long-limbed animals"

"and you with your hair full of horses"

"seed god and husk god, god of the open palm, you know me, you know my mettle."

"I am not sorry. I sing."

I've been whittling a bird

 I work on it a little bit every morning. It's got a good bird shape to it now. I haven't decided what kind of bird it is yet. I really like wrens and nuthatches and it kind of has that shape. 

The scientific name of the Eurasian wren is Troglodytes troglodytes which is Greek for hole creep hole creep but translates more like 'cave dweller'.

This is a winter wren:

Look at that boy. That is a great boy. I would never call him a creep. I would call him "Beautiful beautiful round pointy excellent gentleman"

it's not a boulder

 it's a rock

yeah I voted

 it was pretty great

some people. all different kinds of people.

today I asked the kids I coach what their favorite punctuation mark is and most of them said question mark and exclamation point. If they said their favorite was question mark then I said that means they are mysterious and if they said exclamation point then that means they are loud.

here are some other dumb personality metrics I made up:

some people like to identify things. like if they see something and they know what it is then it makes them happy to say what it is. These people are known as Identifiers.

and then other people, they like to point out stuff they don't know. they are on the look out for things they can't identify and then they ask questions about it. These people are Questioners.

I'm gonna make one of those personality models. this is it. you're watching it develop in real time.

Identifiers, Questioners, Dilly-Dalliers, Fight brain, Noise honk, 

Dilly-Dalliers just want to make up a little time. Tell a story. Have a conversation. Do a good. Do a bit. Make a little music. Dilly-Dalliers are mostly the best kind of people but sometimes they aren't able to lock-in and then they're a complete liability to the mission.

Fight-Brain. These people are too locked-in. All they want to do is start fights and conflicts and establish and maintain hierarchies. Too aggressive.

Noise Honks are people who are just making noise. Just saying stuff to put it out there and not at all worried about how the other person is perceiving it.

Silent Bird. A silent one. Like a bird that isn't making any noise.

There ya go. Someone make a social psychology PhD out of this. Chart it on a matrix or something.

tim curry is the tim curry of halloween

do you know about tim curry's song "anything can happen on halloween" from the 1986 movie 'the worst witch'?

words cannot describe

the power of this performance resonates with me in a way that few things can manage

camp reunion

 just got back from the 50 year anniversary reunion at cht. it was great to see so many people I haven't seen in a long time. 

I'm reminded that CHT was my first camp and my time there was such a formative experience at a really special place with wonderful caring people. I've brought so much of what I learned at cht with me. It was the first time in my life I felt like I really had a 'found family'. There's a lot of love, a lot of fun, and a genuine desire to make the lives of others better.

I'm really grateful for my time there and I want to be part of places like that as much as possible.