track meet with them boys

really fun. it's been such a great summer

 

"no one likes that"

 That's been my go-to line for correcting behaviors.

You need to stop jumping on people. You need to give people space. You need to stop yelling. You need to stop barking. You need to stop grabbing people.

No one likes that. No one likes any of those things. 

I think sometimes I get in my head that showing frustration or being frustrated is bringing other people down or not being the best person I can be. But, it's true that correcting behavior is work and showing frustration is a cue to a kid that they're doing something that is upsetting to people. 

You ever encounter a really annoying person out in the world and think, why are they like that? or what would it take for them to stop being like that? It takes work! And it's work I definitely believe in. I've seen people improve and it's a really good feeling to watch someone go from using behaviors all the time to being someone you can have a conversation with.

So that's my pep talk to myself. Don't lose your spark babe but keep fighting the good fight.

went to meghan's wedding today!

 at camp holiday trails!

learned how to juggle 3 clubs!

ate yummy tofu!

hooray!

I am not immune to propaganda

 

 

hunchin' and crunchin'

 you know where I'm at

you know where I be

make an impact

 the easiest way to make an impact is to be fascinated with something or someone. show interest.

the sky is beautiful. the trees are beautiful. the world is full of beautiful people. you miss it all if you're too hung up on what's going to happen or what's already happened and then you've done nothing but sat out your turn. take your turn. play the game. it's meant to be played. it's the universe smiling at itself and all it asks is that you smile back.

summer camp is my favorite thing!

just finished a two week session and it was so great. I love existing at camp. I love sleepaway camp the most. It's an excellent way to be alive.

I think I don't put much value in searching for meaning but I do put a lot of value in creating meaning and if camp does anything it's creating meaning.

midsummer reflection

physically: Overall I feel great. Not worrying about hitting a mileage goal has proven really beneficial and healthy. I said 4 years ago that if I stopped running I would be a better counselor and that's kinda come true. I still get really tired and have to nap some days but that's just being outside in 90+ degree heat all day. Camp gives me energy.

emotionally: Also pretty good. Summer is the time I get to be the most social and it's the context where I feel most comfortable being social so I'm doing great. I definitely still get stressed at times but I think I'm managing it well and not letting it linger. The other day I did some drawing when I was feeling a little beat down and stressed and I had the realization that, as far as this summer is concerned, we've already won. We did Poplar and it was great. We won the big game. This is all icing on the cake. 

I also got confirmation this week that Poplar was a hit and we'll do it again and that was really big. I knew it was great and that I worked really hard but to see that recognized was affirming. 

I've done a good job this summer of managing stressful situations while staying calm and not raising my voice except when safety is an immediate concern. I've leaned heavily into using my 'therapy voice' in a semi-joking way and I've noticed a lot of success with that. I also have two new co-workers at camp who both work in schools during the year and I think being around them more has helped me be more mindful and patient. 

mentally: I guess mentally is the same as emotionally in a lot of ways but I'll say that I've been making a lot of videos this summer and I feel really good about that. I'm happy with how productive I've been.

Life's not perfect but it's pretty darn close.

Looking ahead: 

I want to continue to use the influence I have to move camp towards a more welcoming, expressive, supportive place. A great camp, to me, is something like the Cambrian Explosion. 

The Cambrian Explosion is this point in the fossil record where all these different types of complex organisms/animals appear seemingly out of nowhere. If you set up the right environment, people are free to be who they want to be. 

Like when the ocean is a very harsh unforgiving place then you end up with a lot of simple, single-cell organisms that can't expend the energy to be anything more. I'm playing fast and loose with biology but whatever. I think people and personalities are similar. When I'm stressed or worried, I'm not going to try to be a new or best version of myself. I'm mostly going to shut down and be really reactive to everything that happens. 

When I feel supported and accepted then I'm going to be my Opabinia self. That's where I've learned the most about myself and the world. 

So yeah, my goal is to work towards that.

Elijahball Tournament 2024

 the thing I like about camp is that every day you have chances to be kind to people and if you stick around long enough you find out that those moments when you really made a connection meant a whole lot to them

IT'S LIKE MINING FOR GOLD BABY!