recreation of my dinner on thursday night

 Andy approaches the food being served with plate in hand.

Camden: Ey, the burger's cold today!

Andy: Ok, that's fine.

Stewart: Hey Goodstein the macaroni and cheese tastes like an old chimney! Ya want some?!

Andy: Listen Stew! I'm on the edge! I'm on the absolute edge so don't test me right now!

Stew: What?! You don't like the burger-- go microwave it yourself! You're not a child!

Andy: So that's my job now?? That's what my job is? Your job is to make the food wrong and my job is to fix it? Is that what my job is now? 

Stew: Ah stop your crying you bum. I'll heat it up for you.

[Transition to stove top where Stew is heating up the burger]

Andy: Listen Stew you don't know what it's like out there! You don't know what it's like! Me and Crabby are the only ones separating this camp from complete anarchy, ya understand?! I got Oliver slamming Gatorades into the window. I got kids crying from hunger. Every time I turn around another kid is flipping bottles and slamming the tables. They had me make witty banter for 20 minutes just because we got in here too soon! 

Stew: Yeah yeah yeah...

Andy: All I expect when I bring my dumb little plate up to the line after everyone else is served is a lukewarm veggie burger and a little bit of cheesy mac! That's all I'm asking for! And apparently THAT'S too much for the folks who get to hide out in the kitchen all afternoon while the rest of us are baking in the sun. Is that about the size of it, Stew?! Is that about the size of it?!

Stew: Here's ya burger, Braveheart.

 

today I used the tool of calling a friend when I needed help

and that friend answered and talked to me and I felt better. Proud of myself for doing that instead of just not saying anything to anyone.

sedan chair racing. it's gonna be big.

I can make a positive difference

 I really believe that

good day today

 Ears of corn with my dinner.

Some days it goes easy and today was an easy day. Gotta be thankful

I can lead climb now!

 Yay! While I'm up and posting I should mention that yesterday I went to Richmond and climbed with Erin and finally got lead certified for both climbing and belaying! Hooray! I can do really sport climbing now! Great visit seeing Erin!

meatballs and late night wegmans

 rewatched the movie Meatballs today because it was free on youtube. It has some good parts but overall I don't think it's aged too well. Was still fun to watch it again. I caught it on TV one random summer day when I was in high school and it really struck me. I don't know why exactly.

Anyway I did some late night grocery shopping and really enjoyed it. Everyone was dancing and enjoying the music and when I was checking out this one woman was scanning the items and another woman was bagging and the one woman scanned the bleach and handed it to the other woman and said, "did you know this is really good for you" and then we all riffed on how good bleach is for you and how it can cure almost anything.

One of those days were I was tired all day and now it's midnight and I'm wide awake. oh well.

here's a good principle for life

 when I go to camp tomorrow, there's going to be kids there who are anxious that no one is going to like them or want to talk to them. they're probably dreading going somewhere where they don't know anyone and there's a lot going on and everything is new. If I can make those kids have a good day, then I've done the best thing I could do.

it was paw paw's birthday on friday

 The truck still runs. I still runs.

I'll always remember you paw paw

 And as one realizes that one is a dream figure in another person's dream, that is self awareness

"On this bridge," Lorca warns, "life is not a dream. Beware. And beware. And beware." And so many think because Then happened, Now isn't. But didn't I mention the ongoing "wow" is happening right now? We are all co-authors of this dancing exuberance where even our inabilities are having a roast. We are the authors of ourselves, co-authoring a gigantic Dostoevsky novel, starring clowns. This entire thing we're involved with called the world, is an opportunity to exhibit how exciting alienation can be. Life is a matter of a miracle that is collected over time by moments, flabbergasted to be in each other's presence. The world is an exam to see if we can rise into direct experience. Our eyesight is here as a test to see if we can see beyond it. Matter is here as a test for our curiosity. Doubt is here as an exam for our vitality. Thomas Mann wrote that he would rather participate in life than write 100 stories. Giacometti was once run down by a car, and he recalled falling into a lucid faint, a sudden exhilaration, as he realized that at last something was happening to him. An assumption develops that you cannot understand life and live life simultaneously. I do not agree entirely. Which is to say I do not exactly disagree. I would say that life understood is life lived. But the paradoxes bug me, and I can learn to love and make love to the paradoxes that bug me. And on really romantic evenings of self, I go salsa dancing with my confusion. Before you drift off, don't forget. Which is to say, remember. Because remembering is so much more a psychotic activity than forgetting. Lorca, in that same poem said that the iguana will bite those who do not dream. And as one realizes that one is a dream figure in another person's dream, that is self awareness.

great trip to the new river gorge

 west virginia is a beautiful state.

Saw some great rocks. Climbed a few climbs. Hung out with great folks.

Really motivated to climb and get stronger!

happy 4th

 

ran a workout today

 It wasn't great but it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be and mostly I'm just excited that I wanted to run a workout because motivation was a struggle there for a few weeks. I think I'm fully over the hump now though. 

oooo it's storming now

bitey the squirrel

 one of my neighbors had this weird plaster monster that they kept on a chair for as long as I've lived here. It's like this weird blob with a spike on its head and a flat triangular shaped tail and human looking teeth. Anyway she moved out last week and I found the beast placed by the trash so I took it in and have started painting it. I think I'll name it Bitey The Squirrel

I'll try my best