not trying to pretend this is in any way new but I think it's worth repeating. There's no difference between someone pretending to be awful on purpose and an awful person anymore.
We have to either be silly and/or nice and/or sincere. Those are the only options. 100% genuine.
Instagram would show me these clips from SNL of Colin Jost and Michael Che reading jokes they'd written for each other that they would have to read live for the first time on-air. And so Michael Che would make all the jokes Colin had to read really racist. It's funny because Colin is so embarrassed and humiliated by saying all these awful things.
But then you go to the comments and every comment, I mean, every comment, is:
"finally SNL is funny"
"finally telling good jokes again"
"I wish this was the whole show"
"this is the only good part of the show"
And they're just saying they like racist humor. Like, instead of laughing at the idea of saying a horrible thing, they're laughing at a racist joke they find funny that's been couched in the safety of sarcasm. Right? Like you can't be pretend-racist if there are people who find the racism itself funny.
slightly related but also a tanget---
My personal mission at camp is to strike down swiftly anytime someone gives a direction and then someone responds by just saying the opposite of the direction.
"and no one wants to go in a gross messy bathroom"
"yes we do"
Oh my gosh the righteous force that will descend upon you when you utter these words. My eyes go white and I appear just over your shoulder and you see my mouth moving but you don't hear a sound, you only the voice in your head
you think that's funny? the most knee-jerk lazy response of just saying the opposite of what someone just said? don't do that. no one is impressed. no one is glad you said the most thoughtless lazy possible thing. use your brain. say something productive.
I'm exaggerating of course but in my experience, nothing poisons the well faster head-empty defiance. It's like, what are you trying to say about yourself? What's your intention?
That you don't care? That you can't be bothered? Who would want to spend time with someone like that?
I do get that there's an inherent appeal in being defiant. Like it's cool on a surface level to reject something outright. That's the core of the appeal of like, an anti-hero or villain. And yeah some rules are lame and authority should not be accepted blindly.
So what's the motivation? Why should you not be a turd every time you get the chance? To avoid getting in trouble? Trouble is a stupid concept and we worry about it too much. I think the quiet, long-term consequence is that you won't have good friends and people won't want to be around you. And you'll be caught in this cycle where the only attention you get is negative attention and that pushes people away more. And it's really real. You see it all the time and it's a big problem especially in early adolescence.
To make everything more complicated, there are communities where social interaction is centered around saying and doing outlandish, horrible things and it becomes really easy to dismiss any argument that you're isolating yourself when you feel part of a group of people. In my experience though it's like drinking seawater. It can't sustain you long term because it's not based on compassion or understanding or anything that makes someone a person. The world is messy and chaotic and there truly are no rulebooks to the world, only outcomes. But, on an individual level, as a peoples, as a humans, we are fundamentally squishy and need things like affection and warmth. That's like
that's like
that's like the essential thing, the unspeakable truth, the that-which-not-cannot-be-said, that all the sarcasm and edginess and angst and defiance is trying to obscure. We can't stand the thought of asking for acceptance and affection and safety and being rejected. It's too painful to even consider. And so we have to pretend, we have to engage in this elaborate theater where we roleplay as moody broody little main characters pitted against the world to cover up the secret that we're just a squishy lil guy who wants nice little pets.
you like krabby patties, don't you squidward?
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