An Exercise in Shared Spaces 2

October 7th- Red iPod left in case on table in full view from side door made entirely of window. (also, knife)

Luke,

Let's talk about the flightless cormorant of the Galapagos Islands. It is a very unique bird. For thousands of years, the flightless cormorant had no natural predators. As a result, it lost the ability to fly in exchange for growing fat off of diving along the coast of the island.

"Flying?" *shrug*
from wikimedia commons

Just to clarify, when an animal has no enemies, it exchanges adaptations that help it escape for adaptations that help it fall in the water with its mouth open and stuff whatever it lands on inside of itself.

"Why would anything bad ever happen to me? Yuck yuck yuck!"
from wikimedia commons

Why am I telling you this? Because you have no natural predators, Luke. Like the flightless cormorant, who became dominant by trusting that life would always be good while the more paranoid, flighty cormorants starved from fear of their own shadow, you thrive in the knowledge that the land has and always will be kind.

But this is a cautionary story. Because eventually man discovered the Galapagos Islands. And when man arrived with his dogs and cats and pigs, they all found a bird that was not only incapable of escaping, but had no desire to escape. It was a bird that would walk right up to a large predator and allow itself to be picked up, coddled, and/or devoured.

This brave new world, that has such people in it, has not been kind to the flightless cormorant, Luke. It's basically just a pity project to keep this thing alive at this point.

And that is why I am stealing your iPod. Like a hardened, grizzled flightless cormorant who knows that the only chance for saving the species is to whip these stubby-winged, tea-time loving, namby-pambies into beasts of war. You gotta get mad! You gotta get mean! We can't just keep using our adorableness and our ability to breed quickly to make our problems go away! And do your dishes!

Love,

Andy

P.S. Who still has a 2nd generation iPod Nano??? Those came out in like 2006!