I don't believe in ghosts. I don't believe in the supernatural. When I was little I would have trouble sleeping because when I closed my eyes I would see witches and horrible monsters. They would sneak into my room and eat me. In the daytime those things wouldn't feel real. They only felt real at night. What was I afraid of? The dark? Being alone? The unknown? Was it an overactive imagination? Was I not in control of my thoughts and how I felt about them? 

In a way it was an exercise to sit with my thoughts and be okay with them. Maybe that's what I got better at. It's not like I got smarter and knew those things couldn't be possible. I always knew they couldn't be possible. They felt real. Maybe I got stronger. Maybe I became more in control of myself and felt more capable. Maybe my imagination got weaker. 

What has changed about a person who isn't afraid of the things he sees in his head when he closes his eyes? What do I think about now? Sometimes I still get scared. Sometimes those feelings come back. Mostly I think about people. Mostly I just sleep. Or I put on a podcast. 

I have the utmost sympathy for anyone who is scared and alone and can't fall asleep at night. I'm sorry. What a feeling. 

And to everyone who is comfortable and safe and warm and cozy in their beds---unacceptable. Awful. How dare you. Have you no humanity? Trash goblin safe in their trash cave. Tiny monster that relishes in hideous behavior. Stinky.