all the magic words I can think of

presto! change-o!

alakazam!

abracadabra!

shoofini!

walabamalama!

sudafed!

please!

kississippi

ramalamadingdong!

And of course, the real magic words which are hearing someone say they care for you when you care for them and you don't know how they might feel about you and your care for them isn't dependent on their care for you but you do get that confirmation--they show it some way and your sliding on electric butter all afternoon.

let's go! they brought back blue Jyoti!!

 my favorite canned Indian food!

now I'd write 'it ain't over til it's over' about blue Jyoti!!!

 lenny kravitz wrote 'it ain't over til it's over' about his failing marriage to Lisa Bonet. the song was an attempt to rekindle the relationship which would go on to end in an 'amicable divorce'. 

I think the celebrity culture on the whole is pretty stupid but I love the song and think the story is really cool. 

me personally I'd write a song about the time I beat Crabby in sock wrestling. I would recreate 'it ain't over til it's over' in every way but it would be about the time I beat Crabby in sock wrestling.

… Here we are still together

We are one

So much time wasted

Playing games with socks

… So many tears I've cried

So much pain inside

But baby, it ain't over 'til it's over

So many years we've tried

To keep our sock wrestling dreams alive

But baby, it ain't over 'til it's over

let me tell you

 let me tell you.

I cleaned out my humidifier/oil diffuser today. I mean I really cleaned it out. And I've owned it for maybe 3 or 4 years now. I gave it a good cleaning. Hours spent with a flashlight and a water pick and I was blasting gunk that you've never seen before in your life. It was an experience. I don't have words for it yet. 

The thing pretty much looks like this and it has a lid that has a tube and an inner cavity that the mist comes out of and that's where all the gunk was lurking. And so whatever's in there is kind of hidden from rinsing and direct cleaning so you have to get creative with how you flush it out. 

It felt like purging a kind of evil. The closest I'll ever get to an exorcism maybe. Or the closest so far. I still contend that I could perform an exorcism if I really had to. 

But anyway I fired it up a little bit ago and the mist is flowing so freely now. 

I'm a little ashamed of myself for letting things get that bad but I'm proud that I got there eventually.

how's that for a slogan of modern triumph?

things that make me anxious: finite resources

oh man do I get anxious when I find out the resources are finite. 

I like to imagine my resources are infinite. Or at least replenishable. I can't deal with something only existing one time and if it's gone then it's gone for good.

And I understand that this is a great philosophical error. Of course things are finite. That's how it is. But I do think with a little imagination most things are renewable in a way. 

Or maybe a better way to say would be: most of the time, whatever gave value to a thing or was valuable about a thing, can still be found in a different but similar thing. And that actually your ability to give and find meaning and value in something is what's important. Not the thing itself. 

One time I made a cool painting of a robot and I gave it to someone and shortly after making that robot painting I stopped talking to that person and I still missed the robot painting. But I consoled myself by saying that I'm the one who made that painting and I have the ability to make another one if I really wanted to. And I did make another robot painting and I foolishly foolishly oh so foolishly gave it to someone that I also ended up not speaking to again and you think the lesson is about the ability to create versus the creations themselves but really--clearly--the lesson is: don't give robot paintings to people you think you want to date. they're cursed artifacts. don't do it.

But I'll also say this: I probably care more about that painting because I can't have it than if I had held on to it. If I had held onto it it would sit in a stack with other paintings or be on my wall and I wouldn't be telling you about it now.  

And so maybe the lesson is that that process of making something and giving it to someone and not having it anymore and it's tied up in those people that I knew and paths I opted not to take and a fragment of myself I cast into the wider world--y'know that's something.

 I bet you thought. I bet you thought I wasn't still moonboarding. 

Oh Andy. He gave up on moonboarding long long ago. A forgotten dream. Andy he's the type of guy to just throw away his dreams.

WRONG!

I'm like a dog with a dream in its mouth and when you get to close I just growl because I'm never letting that dream go. No way. 

I sent TBA Warm Up 1 today!

This qualifies me for TBA Warm Up 2 I believe.

But I don't have to do TBA Warm Up 2 because it's not a 2016 Moonboard Benchmark.

Of which I only have THREE left. Warm Up No. 10, Gravity's Rainbow, and two Chinese characters that I've been told by Google translate mean 'Challenge' or 'Problem'.

Gravity's Rainbow might go within a couple weeks. It might go next session. Who knows.

Anyway I did a new climb and I was happy about it!

the gloom by cat clyde is one of the most beautiful perfect songs ever made