i'll tell you what I love

 playing games in a field that's what I love

the power of friendship

 got some help from friends who were able to turn what would've been a really stressful and frustrating evening into a good time and I'm really thankful for that.

and also my parents who helped me so much the past few weeks. 

I prefer to be independent when I can but when I need help and get it, that's a really affirming feeling. it makes me want to do good.

flowers aren't flowers underground

 y'know?

they're just a seed. doing nothing. laying roots perhaps. but nothing visible. And then when they're ready and the time is right and the conditions are perfect they BLOOM. 

that's my approach to summer. there's a lot I'm going to do and it's the busiest time of my year and there's this temptation when I have more free time to think 'I gotta get ready! I gotta prepare." 

But no. I gotta be like a flower.

boring training recap and plans for summer training

way back in the nascent time of August 2024 I set out to achieve strength goals by the far-off futuristic date of June 2025.

And like the crashing of waves over so many fields of ducks, that time has come.

the goals were! bench 200lbs, squat 250lbs, run 11.9 seconds for 100m, hang +70lbs on a 20mm hangboard edge for 10 seconds, do a one arm pull-up.

here's the breakdown

bench 200lbs- I did this! I did it on March 14th! Hooray!

squat 250lbs- Current best sits at 225lbs. This was a shoot for the moon, land among the stars type goal. Or shoot for the stars, land on the moon. If you think about it, from a practical standpoint, it should be shoot for the stars, land on the moon. Because the moon is way way closer. But if you didn't know anything about space travel and were just looking at the night sky I can see why you'd say shoot for the moon and land among the stars. Because of their relative sizes. But anyway, I set a big goal and I went from not really being able to squat properly to squatting two plates and that's really exciting and I'm proud of that. 250 doesn't seem too far off and I've decided that my ultimate goal is 300lbs which would be roughly 2x bodyweight and I think I could hang my squat-hat on that and try other stuff. 

run 11.9 seconds for 100m. On August 18th, 2024 I ran a new personal best of 12.59 for 100m and then on May 4th 2025 I improved by exactly one one-hundredth of a second and ran 12.58 and that's where my PR stands. So, in some ways, sub-12 is pretty far off. BUT! Also on May 4th I ran a new 50m best of 6.14, which if you double that you'd run a 12.28. I also broke 27 seconds for 200m for the first time on May 11th. All of this is to say that I made improvements but that 11.9 is more of a long term goal than a medium goal. And I'm making progress. Sprinting is funny though. You can be stuck for months and then have a day where you feel good, loaded up with caffeine, good temperatures, and the right wind and you can run way better than you ever have before. Sprinting is a bit like fishing. You gotta be in the right place and the right time and your training helps you be ready to capitalize on it. Lifting is a bit more like, uh, building a barn. Just do it. Affix lumber to lumber. Board by board.

the hangboard goal.- I did this one! back in January. And then I upped that goal to +50% bodyweight. And then I did that on March 9th. And then I started moonboarding! And that's been fun. 

One Arm Pull-Up- Through the Fall and Winter I made some decent progress towards this goal and then at some point I really stalled and plateau'd and kinda gave up entirely on pull-ups once I started moonboarding. And then on Sunday I almost did a one-arm pull-up out of nowhere. It was like I could just do one. I'd say like 80 to 85% of full range of motion. Probably I was just fatigued and resting allowed me to actually pull my hardest. But that was a nice surprise because I'd kind of given up on that goal and it was nice to be rewarded both for the hard work I'd put in and also for giving up. 

Overall, a really successful season of training. 

Goals for August 2025.

+90lbs for 10s on 20mm, one-arm pull-up, 250lbs squat, 300lbs box squat, 135lbs overhead press, 100m in 12.40

what did we learn last summer? climbing and camp don't mix so we're back to hangboarding! another thing I've learned is that my fingers can handle about a month of moonboarding 3 times a week and then the fatigue builds and doesn't go away so a rest seems necessary. maybe I'll try climbing once a week. maybe. also bench has now been replaced with barbell overhead press. because we love shoulders.

if you made it this far then lots of bisous for you xxxxxxx

 listen. listen this is important. I'm going to tell you something important and need you to listen and understand. 

A formative experience in my life was the few years in late high school and early college when I would go to an open mic night on Thursdays at a diner in Harrisonburg called the Little Grill. And the Little Grill open mic night was often run by a man named Chris Howdyshell who had a band and worked at the diner and was the mc and would also perform and whether I knew it in that moment or not I was aspiring to be like him and molded by personality to be more like him. The first post on this blog is a story I read at the Little Grill open mic back in 2011. 

And one fateful night Chris Howdyshell got on stage and said that he was into Tom Waits and performed an original song about Tom Waits and I think he also sang a Tom Waits song 

"sitting there just like Tom Waits"

was a line I think. It was a beautiful moment. It's a moment I'm still chasing. Everyone has moments they're chasing. In no particular order, these are some moments I'm still chasing

-sitting in the Little Grill diner at the end of the night listening to Chris Howdyshell perform

-long runs in college with friends

-camp

-smooches n such

There are probably more. Or there could also be less. But the point is I was too young at the time to appreciate Tom Waits's monster gravel voice and what he was saying. I like that Chris Howdyshell liked him but I didn't get it. 

But now I get it. I heard a clip of a Tom Waits song while I was scrolling the other day and my soul and heart has finally accumulated enough gravel and grit and detritus for Tom Waits to find purchase. 

And upon further and tangential reflection here's what I've realized

Here's the moment I'm still chasing. I've just pieced it all together. It makes sense. I've figured it out.

In Kindergarten I would never shut-up and on some level I knew they were making fun of me as they did this but they made me the ringleader of the class circus and they gave me this big colorful plastic microphone and a tophat maybe and my job was to just spout any thought that came into my head and announce the acts. And really at its core the summer camps and the coaching and Chris howdyshell at the Little Grill open mic night is all the ringleader of a kindergarten circus and that just might be the essence of my social existence.

also I'm into Tom Waits now a little. The point of the post was to tell you that I kinda like at least one Tom Waits song now. But then along the way I took the derivative of my identity farther than I've ever taken it. That's a little bonus.

 I like delusional people

I like people who have to express themselves

I like people who care so much about something that it consumes them

I like people who are grumpy to most and nice to small children

I like people who are self-effacing

I like people who quote things

I like people who use the different word

I like people who have a lot going on in their brain

I like people who can't quit

I like people who want to be good at something and make sacrifices to do it

I like people who like a nice shaded field of grass

I had to look up what self-effacing means and it didn't mean what I thought it meant but I put it anyway because I like the way self-effacing sounds

I like people who know how to play a character and they enjoy doing it

I like people who think about the feelings of others but aren't consumed by them

I like people who can't help themselves sometimes

I like people who pay attention and remember

I like the type of person who would read this list and wonder if they are that type of person and then, maybe, be overwhelmed by all the different things and maybe have a small existential crisis and then be like, no wait that's dumb who cares it's fine.

based on your habits and what you spend your time on, what is your life building a monument to?

 any saturday where I can sit around, that's a good saturday

mega session today!

 everything felt really good. Warmed up and pulled 120lbs on a 20mm edge with my right hand for 6 seconds and lifted it off the ground with my left. That ties my best I think. 

Then I sent my first V7 on the moonboard second go. I dropped the first move in a silly way and then felt very comfortable on the send go. 

Very nearly sent ladybug and learned a lot about how to do the last move. That could go Sunday or next Friday. 

Sent a v5/6c to bring total up to 15 6c's and then tried a v6 and nearly flashed it! I was on the next to last hold thinking, 'holy shmoly I'm gonna do it' and then the heel I had placed popped and I fell. Dang. Very happy with that though. 

Hadn't done weighted pull-ups in months and met or exceeded my previous bests. I did 3 sets of 5 with 53lbs and felt pretty good so then I tried one set of 3 with +50% bodyweight and felt good so I went for one rep of +100lbs and it moved better than it's ever moved before so that was awesome. 

I have a very mild cold but I've rested really well the past two days so it made for a pretty great day. 

And my sister is moving to town today!

And my parents have been helping me out at camp and it's great and I really appreciate them.

And um, 

my neighbor and I were talking and he hates warm rain and I hate cold rain and we got into a discussion about the line in Natasha Bedingfield's timeless classic Unwritten,

Reaching for something in the distance

so close you can almost taste it

release your inhibitions

feel the rain on your skin!

Is the rain in that song a cold rain or a warm rain? What do you think and why?

lately I've been into making my dreams and wishes come true

 it's, uh, pretty dope

shout out to me 10 years ago

that's a solid joke!

I don't care what anyone says. That holds up. 

I never minded holding space for you.

It was so easy to do.

I only work for free.

There are a million ways you can show someone that they are precious to you.

Dylan Thomas said, 

The force that through the green fuse drives the flower

Drives my green age; that blasts the roots of trees

Is my destroyer.

And I am dumb to tell the crooked rose

My youth is bent by the same wintry fever.

3 sentence story

 He was all out of breaths. He had used them all up in a round contest. A spheric victory.

nearly flashed a V7 (fingers crossed) and did ladybug (V7) in two parts!

Trying fingers crossed was my first climb of the day and I got to the top and didn't know how I was still on and then dropped the move to the finish hold! Then I lost the magic a little bit and couldn't recreate the attempt. But I'm really confident it will go on a day when I'm feeling good.

ladybug has some pretty easy intro moves and then a big huck to the finish and I can do the intro pretty comfortably but the last move I'm still learning. I stuck it one time out of about six tries but I'm also confident this one will go soon. I was happy with my progression in learning the move. I pretty quickly went from not quite touching the hold to being able to stick it so that was good. I'm noticing a little more pop and springiness than I've had in the past and that is encouraging to see progress in what I've been working on.

Had a good workout after. I've swapped bench press with a barbell overhead press and that's been fun. 

if I can make camp the best part of someone's year, that's really powerful

if I can make practice the best part of someone's day, that's really powerful

if I can make an interaction the best part of someone's day, that's really powerful

if you asked I would have to say yes

 I would have to. I would have to. I would have to.

What?

Here's the point. I did the thing where I ran really hard and I nearly made myself sick and the thing I like about that is 1) trying really really hard at something and 2) having an altered experience. Both of those things are great.Have a body--use it!

saw sinners with my friend!

 thanks to Justin aka Crab for visiting me and taking me to see sinners. it was great!

he also watched me try to look competent while I flailed around on the moonboard for an hour. a good friend if there ever was one.

learn something new every day

today this girl I coach taught me that odontoclasts are these cells that eat at your baby teeth and make em fall out. and then I guess they don't do anything after that. 

Did you know that most mammals have baby teeth? If you had told me that only humans have baby teeth, I'd believe you. I know extremely little about babies. Why don't people talk about puppies and kittens losing their baby teeth? It's probably because they just eat them I bet. 

Humans are the only animals that have baby teeth AND don't eat them. There's some fun misinformation you can use at a party or a funeral or something.

in another life I was a tree

haven't peaked yet!

 I would probably never confront anyone about this but I think it's annoying when people complain about getting older. I hear people even younger than me saying stuff like that! Today I sent a hard moonboard climb and then ran a new (tiny improvement) 100m best time. I'm stronger, quicker, and more flexible than I've ever been! To me, feeling older has a lot more to do with lifestyle, priorities, and attitude than the actual age you are. Also,

the existence of at, bat, cat, dat, eat, fat, gat, and hat implies the existence of something called 'iat'

 

the lyrics to I'll Be Your Mirror from the Velvet Underground and Nico presented without commentary

I'll be your mirror

Reflect what you are, in case you don't know

I'll be the wind, the rain, and the sunset

The light on your door to show that you're home

When you think the night has seen your mind

That inside you're twisted and unkind

Let me stand to show that you are blind

Please, put down your hands

'Cause I see you

I find it hard to believe you don't know

The beauty you are

But if you don't, let me be your eyes

A hand to your darkness so you won't be afraid

climbing fit

 sent climbs both large and small among other shenanigannery

the importance of being earnest

 "If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life."